Friendship killers

Woman, Sisters, Siblings, FriendsCan you have”friendships” that are killing you? I mean, do you have the sorts of friends that you come away from feeling like you have to downplay your achievements or talents?
Do you have friends which are overly possessive? Backstabbing? Or, are you one of those kinds of friends? In this guide, I show the top 10 behaviours that are killing your friendships — and what you can do to be a better friend and have healthy friendships.
I do not understand how it works with men, but women are notoriously catty. Trust me. I grew up with a very jealous and competitive mother who couldn’t stand for me to shine. In actuality, she is going to be 75 years old in June, and she hates for me to be a confident, self-assured lady because she feels so threatened.
I also grew up with 4 catty sisters whose sole goal in life was to tear me (and each other) down. So I know a thing or 2 about jealousy.
How to Spot Jealousy at a Friend
You know your friend is jealous when she behaves passive aggressively by constantly making comments (put downs) about your boyfriend, your garments, your lifestyle, etc. and you end up needing to downplay your accomplishments and abilities so she won’t get angry or start being aggressive.
Jealousy destroys relationships as you can never be happy for the other person.
Advice: If you are the jealous type, ask yourself why you feel less than. Build your self-esteem by doing esteemable items for yourself and others.
If your buddy is the jealous one, have a serious conversation with her. Tell her you want to be supportive, but you can’t and won’t be in a friendship that’s rife with jealousy.
By the way, I don’t talk to my mother anymore – and I’ll only deal with one of my sisters. Yeah. It was that bad.
Friendship Killer #2 – Selfishness (Narcissism)
With selfish friends, it’s always about them. Everything has to be on their terms. If you don’t go along with their program, they attempt to make you feel guilty, put you down, etc..
Advice: You might just be dealing with somebody who’s unaware that they are selfish. If that’s the case, you want to gently tell your friend how her behavior affects you.
If you are dealing with a narcissist, you might want to end the friendship, as it will remain one-sided.
Friendship Killer #3 – The Manipulator
The manipulative friend can never be direct. They understand your weaknesses, so they hint about when they want you to do something, knowing you will fall for their manipulation – hook, line and sinker.
Advice: Tell your buddy nicely that you’d appreciate it if she would be more direct with you.
I had a friend who always put down any other friend I wanted to hang out with because she couldn’t endure for me to be with anyone else. When I wanted to include others in activities, she vehemently opposed.
Advice: Smothering someone –telling them they can’t have other friends — is a symptom of fear of abandonment. If it’s you who is behaving possessively, ask yourself why you’re so terrified of losing your friend. If it’s your friend who’s possessive, ask her the exact same thing – gently of course.
Then look for therapy.
Together with the critic, you can never win. At times you can almost win, but necessarily the critic will find something wrong with you or what you did, what you’re wearing, etc..
Being around someone who is overly critical is devastating to your mind and your self-worth. Individuals who are overly critical will always raise the bar just out of your reach. It’s a no-win situation.
The exploder consistently keeps you off balance. It is their way of controlling you. You never know what is going to set them off. Walking on eggshells in a relationship isn’t healthy and inhibits the growth of both parties.
Advice: Tell your friend to seek anger management, or you’re gone.
Friendship Killer #7 – Covetedness
Everybody gets a twinge of jealousy sometimes. But when it’s a constant in your friendship — that is bad. Coveting goes hand in hand with jealousy. But it’s a closer cousin to envy.
Your envious friend always wants what you have. The mentality is”there’s not enough to go around, so I want what is yours.”
Advice: Tell your friend you feel her envy and that it is uncomfortable. Tell her when she acts on her covetedness, you will associate with her .
Friendship Killer #8 – Disloyalty
God I hate disloyal folks. Disloyal buddies are the backstabbers. Gossips. They’re the ones you share a confidence with and then you hear about it on the 6:00 O’clock news. They’re the ones who laugh at you once you fall down – instead of helping you up.
Here is the deal. I don’t think people ought to be loyal to a fault. However, you should be loyal until your friend no more deserves your loyalty.
Advice: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Liars annoy the heck out of me. You can’t trust them. Ever. And you can’t have a friendship without trust.
Advice: Confront your friend for their lies. Tell them that you can’t trust them if they are lying to you all of the time and that confidence is an important, and necessary part of the friendship.
Friendship Killer #10 – Being overly”Busy”
Relationships aren’t one sided. But friendships take time and energy. You’ve got to decide whether you really need the friendship because it requires an investment.
If your friend is constantly saying she is”busy”, it just means she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.
Advice: I’d see how often she tells me she’s too busy to hang out before I pull the plug on the friendship.
Conclusion So you wish to make sure you’re not getting drained by the very men and women who are supposed to be uplifting for you. This advice goes for any type of relationship.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *